Conflict Resolution Strategies
Introduction
People approach conflict differently—so no single method fits every situation. The Thomas–Kilmann model maps styles along two behaviours: Assertiveness (meeting your own needs) and Cooperativeness (meeting others’ needs). Combining them produces five strategies, each with strengths and trade-offs. Skill is choosing the right one for the moment.
Assertiveness
Cooperativeness
Competing
Collaborating
Avoiding
Accommodating
Compromising
Explore the Five Strategies
Tap/hover each card to flip for details and an example.
Avoiding
Withdrawing/ignoring the issue. Low assertiveness • Low cooperativeness.
- Use when: issue is trivial, emotions need cooling, info is missing.
- Risk: problems resurface, resentment builds.
- Example: Colleagues ignore décor dispute—tension lingers.
Competing
Win–lose stance. High assertiveness • Low cooperativeness.
- Use when: emergencies, safety/ethics at stake, clear authority.
- Risk: damages trust, silences input.
- Example: Manager enforces plan: “It’s final.”
Accommodating
Give in for the relationship. Low assertiveness • High cooperativeness.
- Use when: you’re wrong, stakes are low, goodwill matters.
- Risk: overuse breeds imbalance & quiet resentment.
- Example: Member accepts weak idea to keep peace.
Collaborating
Create a win–win. High assertiveness • High cooperativeness.
- Use when: complex issues, long-term relationship, shared goals.
- Risk: time/effort; not ideal for urgent calls.
- Example: Departments co-design shared budget plan.
Compromising
Meet in the middle. Medium assertiveness • Medium cooperativeness.
- Use when: time is short, progress beats perfection.
- Risk: partial satisfaction; may miss best option.
- Example: Deadline dispute settles at 3 weeks.
When to Use Each Strategy (Quick Guides)
Avoiding — “Pause & Park” • Cool off / Low stakes / Buy time
- Strengths: prevents escalation; allows time to gather facts.
- Weaknesses: unresolved issues fester; signals indifference.
- Best for: trivial matters, emotional cooling period, unclear info.
- Watch-out: schedule a revisit so “pause” doesn’t become “avoid.”
Competing — “Decide & Direct” • Emergencies / Clear right–wrong
- Strengths: speed; protects standards & safety.
- Weaknesses: damages buy-in; can reduce innovation.
- Best for: urgent risks, compliance, ethical breaches.
- Watch-out: explain rationale; debrief later to restore trust.
Accommodating — “Yield to Preserve” • You’re wrong / Relationship priority
- Strengths: builds goodwill; fast resolution.
- Weaknesses: trains others to expect yielding; suppresses input.
- Best for: low stakes, learning moments, de-escalation.
- Watch-out: keep a balance; don’t sacrifice core needs.
Collaborating — “Create the Third Way” • Complex / Long-term / Shared wins
- Strengths: quality solutions; high commitment; learning.
- Weaknesses: time-intensive; requires psychological safety.
- Best for: strategic decisions, cross-team dependencies.
- Watch-out: don’t overuse when a quick call is needed.
Compromising — “Split the Difference” • Time-bound / Good-enough
- Strengths: faster than collaborating; fair optics.
- Weaknesses: suboptimal outcomes; “lose–lose” feelings.
- Best for: moderate stakes, deadline pressure, stalemates.
- Watch-out: don’t stop exploring if a win–win is possible.