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Conflict Resolution Strategies

Introduction

People approach conflict differently—so no single method fits every situation. The Thomas–Kilmann model maps styles along two behaviours: Assertiveness (meeting your own needs) and Cooperativeness (meeting others’ needs). Combining them produces five strategies, each with strengths and trade-offs. Skill is choosing the right one for the moment.

Visual overview: 2×2 matrix with Assertiveness (low → high) and Cooperativeness (low → high), placing Avoiding, Competing, Accommodating, Collaborating, Compromising.

Assertiveness
Cooperativeness

Competing

Collaborating

Avoiding

Accommodating

Compromising

 

Explore the Five Strategies

Tap/hover each card to flip for details and an example.

1) Avoiding

Avoiding

Withdrawing/ignoring the issue. Low assertiveness • Low cooperativeness.

  • Use when: issue is trivial, emotions need cooling, info is missing.
  • Risk: problems resurface, resentment builds.
  • Example: Colleagues ignore décor dispute—tension lingers.
Flip

2) Competing

Competing

Win–lose stance. High assertiveness • Low cooperativeness.

  • Use when: emergencies, safety/ethics at stake, clear authority.
  • Risk: damages trust, silences input.
  • Example: Manager enforces plan: “It’s final.”
Flip

3) Accommodating

Accommodating

Give in for the relationship. Low assertiveness • High cooperativeness.

  • Use when: you’re wrong, stakes are low, goodwill matters.
  • Risk: overuse breeds imbalance & quiet resentment.
  • Example: Member accepts weak idea to keep peace.
Flip

4) Collaborating

Collaborating

Create a win–win. High assertiveness • High cooperativeness.

  • Use when: complex issues, long-term relationship, shared goals.
  • Risk: time/effort; not ideal for urgent calls.
  • Example: Departments co-design shared budget plan.
Flip

5) Compromising

Compromising

Meet in the middle. Medium assertiveness • Medium cooperativeness.

  • Use when: time is short, progress beats perfection.
  • Risk: partial satisfaction; may miss best option.
  • Example: Deadline dispute settles at 3 weeks.
Flip

 

When to Use Each Strategy (Quick Guides)

Avoiding — “Pause & Park” • Cool off / Low stakes / Buy time
  • Strengths: prevents escalation; allows time to gather facts.
  • Weaknesses: unresolved issues fester; signals indifference.
  • Best for: trivial matters, emotional cooling period, unclear info.
  • Watch-out: schedule a revisit so “pause” doesn’t become “avoid.”
Competing — “Decide & Direct” • Emergencies / Clear right–wrong
  • Strengths: speed; protects standards & safety.
  • Weaknesses: damages buy-in; can reduce innovation.
  • Best for: urgent risks, compliance, ethical breaches.
  • Watch-out: explain rationale; debrief later to restore trust.
Accommodating — “Yield to Preserve” • You’re wrong / Relationship priority
  • Strengths: builds goodwill; fast resolution.
  • Weaknesses: trains others to expect yielding; suppresses input.
  • Best for: low stakes, learning moments, de-escalation.
  • Watch-out: keep a balance; don’t sacrifice core needs.
Collaborating — “Create the Third Way” • Complex / Long-term / Shared wins
  • Strengths: quality solutions; high commitment; learning.
  • Weaknesses: time-intensive; requires psychological safety.
  • Best for: strategic decisions, cross-team dependencies.
  • Watch-out: don’t overuse when a quick call is needed.
Compromising — “Split the Difference” • Time-bound / Good-enough
  • Strengths: faster than collaborating; fair optics.
  • Weaknesses: suboptimal outcomes; “lose–lose” feelings.
  • Best for: moderate stakes, deadline pressure, stalemates.
  • Watch-out: don’t stop exploring if a win–win is possible.
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